i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
