He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
don't judge my taste in strippers
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize