So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
