I am puke
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
