i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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