facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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