Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
