Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
