that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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