if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
