I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
