So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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