Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
