I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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