girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
