i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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