i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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