Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My breasts were aching with rage.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
