I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
