Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
