Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
