Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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