just come out here and I will go home with you...
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
