Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
