goodnight i made you a song goodbye
high people should be assigned attendants
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
