You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
