I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
