you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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