I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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