So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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