Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
