loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
