I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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