there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
