We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
