I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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