Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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