Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
