I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
