I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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