Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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