Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
