grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I did not marry a roomba.
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