We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Four minutes until I can fart!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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