About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
