the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I can't put those talents on a resume
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize