I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
