something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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