Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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