erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
