remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Dicks are not precious.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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