Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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