Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
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