I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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