I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
