He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
