even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
