At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize