Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
