I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
