who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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