I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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